Travel & Transport
Metro Cab Mock Up Finds Job Teaching Children Railway Safety
A Metro cab replica joins railway safety lessons, then faces the fictional horror of becoming a public engagement employee.
Fenella Sprocket
Fenella received her doctorate after completing an online personality test which described her as “highly analytical.” She approaches every scientific breakthrough with rigorous scepticism unless it has been forwarded to her by somebody called Carol. Her current research concerns whether drinking water is still good for you or whether they've changed that again.
Business & Economy
Engineering Industry Abolishes Lead Times After Customers Confirm They Needed It Yesterday
Manufacturers have been instructed to make obsolete bespoke components several days before customers realise they need them.
UK Politics & Public Life
Ministry of Basic Expectations Adds “Please Don’t Rape Anyone” to Asylum Welcome Pack
Nine-page guidance replaces longstanding national policy of "surely nobody needs us to actually write this down."
UK Politics & Public Life
Drought-Hit Parchfield Reassured Its Toilets Will Continue Receiving Drinking Water
Officials insist Britain must not allow a temporary water shortage to compromise the quality of anything being immediately flushed away.
UK Politics & Public Life
Ministry of Perception Introduces Sexuality Credit Rating for Applicants
Applicants will now be scored on how confidently foreign authorities might misunderstand them.
Science & Technology
BritMart Pauses Facial Recognition Until Staff Learn Faces
Advanced AI successfully identifies the correct suspect before staff confidently remove somebody else.
Culture & Entertainment
Museum Renewal Fund Meets a Judgemental Gallery Wall
The Museum Renewal Fund supports civic museums, while a fictional gallery wall critiques every tote bag.
Sport
Sport participation record proves Britain will exercise if the app stops asking for its email twice
Sport participation record figures show more activity, while a fictional booking app conducts a second identity check on Britain’s email address.
World
Bathing water designation meets a confident river
Bathing water designation added 27 sites, while a fictional river asks for a waterproof clipboard and a stakeholder meeting.
Health & Lifestyle
General Practice Access Puts the Telephone on Notice
General practice access can use several routes, while a fictional telephone seeks funding for its hold music.