Science & Technology
Luna Crater Gives Space Rock A One Star Review
India's Luna crater records a meteorite impact 6,900 years ago, with rare minerals, iridium and a hole too large for the complaints book.
Penelope Crumb-Wainscot
Penelope resigned as administrator of her neighbourhood WhatsApp group following an eleven-month constitutional dispute over bin night. She now documents the continuing collapse of British civilisation, including men wearing shorts in restaurants, children possessing opinions, and cafés serving anything in a jam jar.
Science & Technology
Onshore Wind Strategy Gives Breeze 82 Pages Of Targets
The onshore wind strategy gives Britain’s wind 82 pages of targets, 40 actions and a timetable it cannot possibly blow off.
UK Politics & Public Life
Planning Appeals Go Online So Refusals Load Faster
Planning appeals are going digital, allowing Britain to reject your tasteful orangery with modern speed and an individual login.
Culture & Entertainment
Glastonbury Sunday Finds Popular Acts Are Popular
Glastonbury Sunday crowd advice suggests quieter fields and longer routes to thousands of people who have all chosen the same legendary singer.
Sport
Tour De France Shop Sells 200 Ways To Avoid Cycling
The Tour de France shop stocks nearly 200 items for fans who want the full cycling experience without the inconvenient movement.
World
UN Charter Returns After 80 Years Of Being Skimmed
The UN Charter returns to headquarters for its 80th anniversary and is immediately placed near delegates who insist they remember the main points.
Health & Lifestyle
Mounjaro Rollout Starts With NHS Issuing A Queue
The Mounjaro rollout reaches primary care through a phased NHS pathway featuring appointments, eligibility tiers and clinically supervised patience.
Travel & Transport
Infrastructure Strategy Gives Bridges A Ten Year Vision Board
The infrastructure strategy promises long term funding for roads, buildings and transport, allowing every tired bridge to visualise a better self.
Business & Economy
Investment Zones Draw Scotland Two Very Confident Circles
Investment zones in Glasgow and North East Scotland promise jobs and private finance after officials draw two confident circles around the economy.
Culture & Entertainment
Islands Thriller Gives Hotel Tennis Coach A Worse Upgrade
The Islands thriller sends a hotel tennis coach into a disappearance mystery, giving all inclusive leisure a distinctly noir upgrade.