Government cuts immigration by putting off the people it wanted
Ministers celebrate lower immigration while employers ask where their recruits went. A new leaflet offers the government something much easier to count.
The Lawn · Collected editions
Page 2 · 17 Sep 2026 to 13 Sep 2026
Showing 13 to 24 of 51 articles
Ministers celebrate lower immigration while employers ask where their recruits went. A new leaflet offers the government something much easier to count.
UK consumer price inflation rose in August, with petrol and diesel providing the most expensive contribution to the official figures.
At Harwell, a NATO science campus meeting covers defence technology, space and global security before paperwork receives strategic status.
A politician admits he is lying, asks to finish and earns praise for his honesty. The actual truth remains a separate commitment.
The Future Borders and Immigration System has delivered eVisas and travel authorisations, but an inspection says someone still needs to keep the benefits moving.
UK job vacancies have fallen to 702,000, prompting Britain’s hiring signs to polish their CVs and seek more secure work.
A university trains aspiring politicians to explain why owing more after ten years of repayments is a problem with the borrower’s attitude.
UK and US fusion laboratories plan to explore linking AI supercomputers, prompting satire about digital twins, shared data and office biscuits.
Lawnland ministers promise to restore the manageable decline people once complained about, with emergency tax rises to stop anyone enjoying the recovery.
Officials confirm that "no right to remain" remains entirely compatible with remaining.
New Loved One Levy ensures nobody reaches the terminal without making an appropriate emotional contribution to aviation.
Passengers advised to keep bags packed in case Britain briefly reaches acceptable dampness.