Health & Lifestyle
NHS Innovator Passport Gives Clipboard A Day Off
The NHS innovator passport aims to cut repeated checks, leaving one clipboard to mourn its ceremonial stamping career.
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Culture & Entertainment
Creative industries plan gives £380m to a spreadsheet
A £380m creative industries plan promises growth, skills and investment, while the funding auditions for a starring role.
Business & Economy
May GDP dips 0.1% while the economy checks its pockets
May GDP fell 0.1%, while three month growth gave the economy another chart to hide behind as economists arranged their caveats.
World
Nice Ocean Action Plan Finds Consensus, Loses the Doing
The Nice Ocean Action Plan calls for urgent ocean work, while the sea waits for the declaration to locate the part marked ‘doing’.
UK Politics & Public Life
Council AI Minute Takes Notes on Why Councils Meet
Councils are trialling AI meeting notes, bravely confronting the oldest civic mystery: what the meeting was for.
Travel & Transport
Staycation proposals let pubs finally meet guesthouses
A government consultation could make it easier for guesthouses, pubs and attractions to sell UK holiday packages without treating dinner as a legal incident.
Sport
Cricket Domes Put British Rain on Notice
Cricket domes promise reliable access, forcing British rain to defend its historic right to cancel the second over.
Science & Technology
Barents Sea bloom gets a parking permit it never asked for
A summer Barents Sea bloom near Bear Island triggers a fictional Arctic authority’s doomed attempt to issue a parking permit.
Health & Lifestyle
NHS digital tiger team arrives, spreadsheet grows camouflage
An NHS digital tiger team arrives to improve electronic records, prompting a striped spreadsheet to hide behind a quarterly dashboard.
Culture & Entertainment
UNESCO Calls For Culture In Funding Plans, Bureaucracy Requests A Diagram
UNESCO urges governments to include culture in development funding, while a fictional framework commissions another diagram instead of finding cash.
Business & Economy
Bank Rate Holds at 4.5% as Quarter Point Joins Queue
Bank Rate held at 4.5% in an eight to one vote, leaving one quarter point waiting outside with a clipboard and a visitor pass.
World
World Environment Day Gives Plastic a Performance Review
World Environment Day targets plastic pollution across its full life cycle, leaving the office water cooler to explain its career choices.